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St. Louis Rams Free Agent Options: Albert Haynesworth

Hey, Hey, Hey TSTer’s! I’m am sure at this point, many of you are suddenly feeling your temperature rise, and can hear a faint whistling in your ears. Do not fret, for this is indeed rage. I’m certainly not a Doctor, but I can assure that I’ve got the remedy... Either that, or your heads will explode?

What I’m about to do, is discuss the possibility of our new head coach - Jeff Fisher - bringing back his once-dominant - now dormant - defensive tackle, Albert Haynesworth. The remedy for your madness? I’m sure that you’ll find expletives and ridicule will work just fine. See the ‘Post a New Comment’ section below for immediate relief. So find your mental happy place, hit the break aaaaand away we go!

Star-divide

Let's face it, the Ram’s have opportunities (re: Needs) on both sides of the ball, all of which we've discussed addressing in FA or the upcoming draft. While the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who signed "Fat Albert" Haynesworth about mid-way through the 2011 season, have the rights for him through 2012, I find it unlikely that they keep will him. His contract is back-loaded, potentially earning him $6,700,000 this upcoming season. For a guy who’s become almost non-existent, which is an upgrade over the pissing match limelight he found himself in Washington, that is probably a contract that the Bucs can ill-afford to pay out.

The question is: What, if anything, would you be willing to pay Fat Albert to address our needs at defensive tackle? Clearly, he’s no spring chicken. Hell, he’s not a spring hippopotamus! And, for many of you, there are not only better options, but you think Haynesworth isn’t an option at all. Brodrick Brinkley (28) and Jason Jones (26) are younger, more relevant DT’s. I would assume however, that their respective teams have aspirations of signing them to newer, more lucrative contracts. If not, it’s not as if the Rams would be the only team seeking their services. Only time will tell.....Draft one you say? I agree, but can we draft two? If you’re answer to that is yes, then can we expect them to immediately contribute? You tell me? I may not be a draft expert, but I’m clearly a FA wizard! (This is where I invoke the "No groaning" rule)

If you weren’t thinking it when you clicked on this post, by now you've got to be wondering if I decided to ‘wake and bake’ on this fine Sunday morning? Although I can’t remember and still am unable to find my Cheetos, I’ll ask you to consider the prospect of us re-uniting our new coach and his 2009 Sports Illustrated ‘Most Dominant Defender in Football.’ Cue the "He’s a cancer in the locker room - What has he done over the past three years - If Belichick could’nt get him to be productive, no one can" - booty 'chatta!

I get it, he hasn't put up the numbers that he has in seasons past, and I won’t argue that his best days are behind him. That’s not the point of this post. I’m not suggesting that we bring him in with a multi-million dollar contract, and expect to get productivity out of him for the next 5 years. We could however, potentially, get an upgrade over our current situation and maybe, juuuuuust maybe, get Fisher to re-ignite the fire that this tub-o-lard once had.

So here I am TSTer’s... Let your hate rain down upon me! If you can dig it, what kind of contract might you be willing to give him if you’re our GM? Damnit, I’ve got bongwater on my Snuggie!

Poll
Would seeing Albert Haynesworth in "Horns" every Sunday make you all warm and fuzzy?
Yes, The only thing that could make me feel more positive about the world is Jswirb
167 votes
No, St. Louis is a Fat Albert free zone
324 votes
Did someone mention Cheetos?
129 votes

620 votes | Poll has closed

2 recs  |  87 comments

Comments

LOL You are a funny man! Rec'd
Ha! Thanks for the editing help, my friend!

I forgot to mention that I think Albert’s the greatest player of all time. Maybe that would’ve spiced things up a bit

Hahahaha! Glad to help my friend. I really like the post. Now I need to get you to write some Fiction pieces?

If you have some ideas of what you’d like to write, run them by me if you want?

"hes a cancer in the lockerroom, what has he done over the past 3 yrs...

if belichick couldnt get him to be productive, no one can"…lol! priceless DC! thanks for the shout out btw. i dont need to say more.

I've been waiting for ya!

You’re my inspiration, man

ill tell you what DC...

if albert does come to st .louis, and he once again becomes the monster that he was? and thats a big IF! i will kindly eat crow for the rest of the season, and just let you hammer me with all the “i told you soo’s” lol agree?

haha! agreed.....

this is highly unlikely, but due to our friendly banter the other day, I had to do this…

I’m gonna do one on Pacman Jones for you too!

oooh great! lol!

the rams will be “thugged” out in no time!

I gave you a yes; are you happy now? Haha
after a few Yeungling's last night

I think I said I’d write this today. I might be an asshole, but a liar I am not

You know the great thing about Yuengling? Other than its smooth brown lager taste?

It’s made in Pennsylvania :)

But good read, btw. I enjoyed it.

Isn't Rolling Rock made in Penn. too?
Used to be. Latrobe, not far from me at all.

Good ol’ St. Louis’ An.-Busch bought them out a few years ago.

What's the biggest beer in sales that is still American owned?
I'd bet my bottom dollar that it's Budweiser or Bud Light.

BTW, if you saw those Bud Light Platinum commercials during the Super Bowl, I finally got a 6-pack at work before we sold out again, and it’s spectacular haha

Bud was bought by a german company I think? Miller and Coors were bought by Molson I think?
Oh, boy, then I have no idea.

If it’s not, then it should be Yuengling, which brings me back to my original point lol

And I apologize for blatantly endorsing beer.

Obey your parents, kids.

Bud was bought by Inbev

the biggest bear company in the world

Is Sam Adams a big brand?
Big? Absolutely. The best? Nah.

They shell out more flavors than skittles and I refuse to try them all.

Flavored beers! Yuck! It's like putting pineapple on pizza... double Yuck!
ya know douglas...

there are some mighty fine breweries in the state of new mexico that make there own killer brews! i frequent them daily. i just love dark beers, and love to try new ones as well.

mazzi...

you have to try sam adams man. its great beer. summer ales, emperial stouts (my fave…will knock your dick in the dirt! hence the 4 pack!), cherry wheat, winter lager…i can go on and on.

octoberfest

dee-lish

Haha Thanks for the heads up.

I’ll take you on your word and give it a try.

Kinda, they only have 1% of the market
that 1% is the one with great taste brick...

all the rest drink the obvious, bland beer.

Florida...

Yuengling Brewery, Tampa. 11111 N 30th St, Tampa, F

I thought you'd like that

’America’s oldest brewery.’ The interesting thing is if you order pitchers of it, the name allows restaurants to charge you as an import

Fosters - its Australian for Beer, Mate!

try the green can ale. 5.5% gets you home faster.

I thought I'd try to be funny and vote for the cheetos

being the 12th one isn’t very funny. Kudos to the wake and bake reference. A regular on my daily schedule for most of the 1980s.

Speaking on those terms, I'd say Als worth about $250.00 a pound ......

per game

if i was doing that in the 80's, I would've looked like this

Shit

Shit that is how I look NOW 24 7 after 33 years to the same woman….

That's actually Axel Rose's baby picture
You guys are up late.
I got out of work an hour ago...

Just catching up on all of the TST I’ve missed.

I powered through a chapter edit of one of the most boring books ever!

Now I can’t sleep! lol

What have you been up to Tev?

Do you have the tweet address for Bradley Fletcher?

I'm not going to blame this on the alcohol

But I say yes to Haynesworth. Outside the bullshit tied to the Washington experiment and the attempt in TB, he has a knack for getting into the backfield. Our defense has a pretty solid core of "character " guys, so it would actually be the right time to bring a guy like Haynesworth in on a discount. Reuniting him with Fisher would be great. Could you imagine what Greg Williams can do with the D if he had a piece like big Al in the middle?
All for this idea.

DC --gotta give it to you ----albert haynesworth -----u funny
let me guess

he won’t come here because ‘no big names are going to come here until we re-establish ourselves’

…..your answer to everything

I'm not even sure if he knows who Albert Haynesworth is...

This is the same guy who thought Les Snead was Julio Jones. After that you have no credibility at all here. You just bash people without having any clue who they are.

Now I'm gonnna have the Fat Albert song in my head

Bum ba boooom ba bum ba booom
“Naaaa naaaaa naaaaaaaaaa gonna have good tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!”

We're already on the hook for one 34 year old DT, Fred Robbins, who has a 3 yr/ $11,250,000 contract.

Now you want the Rams to bring in another one that’s even a trouble maker for what another 3 yr/umpteen million dollar contract. This year Robbins is a $3.99 million cap hit and running out of steam. I say NO.

Oh contrare!
Now you want the Rams to bring in another one that’s even a trouble maker for what another 3 yr/umpteen million dollar contract.

….I stated in this post that I do NOT want to pay him ‘umpteen million dollars.’ The dude clearly doesn’t need the money, nor at this point, does he deserve that kind of money.

What, however, would be a reasonable price (per year) on a 2 or 3 year contract?

Give him Robbins' contract?
if there's any way to get him for approx. 2.5mil per

that sounds reasonable. Realistically, though, I’m not sure what the going rate will be. I can assure you it won’t be the near 7 mil that he’s due this year

I'm sorry bro, I mis-interpreted what you said...guess I should slow down and read more slowly.
Then you're on board with me!

Thats two votes ‘yes’ everybody!

Hell to The naw!
c'mon now kevio!

why to the naw?

Couldn't help but notice

that the fourth round pick from the 2010 draft led all NFL DTs in sacks.

Would sure be nice to inject some youth, talent, and upside at that position.

No to retreads. This defense is old enough.

we were 31st against the run last season

I don’t know that our concern at DT needs to be sacks. It needs to be clogging up the middle, shutting down the run, and pushing the center/guard up into the QB’s biznass on passing plays.

I’d like some young help too, and I’m not suggesting we don’t get a DT in the draft. I’d actually like to see us get one by the 3rd. We do, however, have two DT’s though, so if the price were right wouldn’t he be an upgrade?

You get on the FP, and you become a used car salesman! lol
Wheelin and dealin, baby!

pun intended!

HA! How about one on Abrahams? Asante Samuel?
There are run stuffers in this year's draft

The Atkins example was just to illuminate how production and ability can be found in the middle rounds.

Questions about Haynesworth’s motivation and character were in abundance even before he got to Washington. He’s really only had two good years out of ten. More than that, I don’t think he’s ever played a 16 game schedule.

Upon further review

We took DE Quinn 14th pick first round 6 4 264 we got 15 games 1 started 23 Tackles 5 sacks. big blocked punt.

Cleve #21 first round Phil Taylor DT Baylor 6 3 335 16 games 16 starts 59 tackles 4 sacks 1ff.

nyj # 30 Wilkerson 6 4 315 temple 16 games 16 starts 35 tackles 3 sacks 1 ff

In the second round I wanted Stephen Paea DT Ore. St. (Freak set bench press record at combine) he was inactive for the first five games but came on strong in the last 11 games. We took Lance 2.15 Paea went 2.21 So Devaney and Spags had opportunities to address DT but lets face it, Spags wanted Robbins and Bannon..whoops thats not working well for us…
we need to draft a DT or two!

im barley getting over that fiasco fearsome...

thanks for bringing it aaall up again! lmao! DT is a must. watching those guys and j.j. watt, tearing it up last yr…it brought tears to my eyes. damn you devaney/spags! lol.

Doug I think Asante would work out well....

But Abraham is “Robbins” age and both would be pretty expensive.

I don't know where he fit in Rams D either, but I've always been a fan of Abrahams
Doug wants you to write a FanPost on one of them

take your pick

You don't have to write them DC, just a suggestion
Oh no, I'd be more than happy to do another one

Thought I’d see if Rcoon wanted to give it a whirl……as I said above, I think I might write one up on Adam Pacman Jones

Another possible reuniting! And one that everyone will hate again

You should run for political office. You have the "Perry Way" of getting votes down to an art... lol
haha! speaking of votes

somehow there more people are looking for Cheetos, than are interested in signing Fat Albert. Simply jaw-dropping!

LMAO! I didn't notice?

As soon as I read the word “Cheetos” in your piece, I knew it had to a part of the poll in some way! :-)

I will write one up on one of them

Who do I email it to? I would love to contribute more than just spewing my anger towards the guru of nothing lol

haha

if you ever want to write something up, the editors are listed at the bottom. The link to their email is right beside their name. They’ve all been very willing to assist!

NO to Albert, look at his training habits.

No fries?
no...but it looks like he has a pitcher of diet...water?
I've been on diet for a few weeks now and...

I would eat that whole damn burger! Hahahahahahahahaha

is that a 1/4 pounder ?
1/4 pounder? one slice of them pickles yes!
Where were you when Mazzi and DCRamFan were argueing Hockey? lol
id take haynesworth

i dont think he is completely done….and i also heard he was in town a couple weekends ago, maybe they are already thinking the same thing.

Too Injury Prone

I’m all for second chances, but Albert hasn’t played an entire season since his rookie year. We already have enough injury issues, I just can’t see signing anyone that’s injury prone.

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